


Maybe Not Mistakes After All

by Aaron_The_8th_Demon



Series: 5 Missed Shots, 1 Game-Winner [6]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post 2017-2018 NHL Season, The Licking Of Ryan Callahan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-08-20 12:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20227600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaron_The_8th_Demon/pseuds/Aaron_The_8th_Demon
Summary: Normally, Patrice would be wallowing on the couch in a pile of blankets, but his air conditioner broke last week and it’s too warm in his apartment to do that, so instead he’s wedged into the cushions eating ice cream. It’s not helping. He doesn’t usually eat ice cream sitting on the couch, because it reminds him of being with Brad right after the ’16 Winter Classic. He’s long since stopped referring to that in his head as sleeping together, fucking, or even plain old sex. Patrice is pretty sure it wasn’t any of those things - it was more like lovemaking. He just didn’t know it back then.





	Maybe Not Mistakes After All

Well… at least they made it to the second round before getting stomped out of the playoffs.

There are very few high points Patrice can think of. For one, yeah, they made it to round two. They at least didn’t get beat out by the Leafs in the first round. It wasn’t a sweep. Watching Brad bathe opponents’ faces with his tongue was wildly entertaining for the entire team, despite the second time happening right before their loss two nights ago. All Patrice could think, watching that, was _ isn’t that gross? Doesn’t Callahan taste like sweat? _

But those are the only positives. Another year, another failure to get the Stanley Cup back where it belongs. The team is riddled with injuries, as always happens during playoffs. There’s going to be trades, soon, which means losing friends and getting used to new faces. Trades are always hard on everyone and Patrice isn’t ready for that yet… at least that nightmare doesn’t start until July.

The worst thing, though, is that his friendship with Brad seems to be in trouble. Last week, Brad had mentioned that Derek’s been acting a little weird lately. He optimistically guessed that maybe his boyfriend will propose or something - with all the possible explanations of strange behavior from a significant other, that’s the one Brad went with. A couple days after reaching this conclusion, on a night between games, he’d come over to Patrice’s apartment with a very important question: if he’s right, if he’s about to get engaged like he thinks, will Patrice please be his best man.

Patrice had been flooded with ideas, things he’d been quietly thinking for two years about how now he knew what it was like for Brad, longing all those years and waiting hopelessly for something that wouldn’t come. He hates himself so much for what he did next: _ I’m sorry, Marchy, I don’t think I can. _ Brad had immediately shattered, asking why in a small broken voice that didn’t sound like it could belong to someone known for being a rambunctious goofball. So Patrice had said this first - _ It would hurt too much. _ And then he’d told Brad everything, about not being able to figure it out until it was too late and how he’s sorry, he’s so sorry for putting Brad through such a wringer because he was too stupid to realize the truth until recently. Because he loves Brad. He doesn’t remember not loving Brad. He just didn’t understand that that’s what it was.

Understandably, Brad stared at him for awhile, trying to talk but not making any noise. Finally he just left without saying a thing. They’ve been staying at arms length since, except on the ice where it actually matters. Patrice wonders if that might be part of why they couldn’t make it past the second round - he fucked up his winger, in doing so fucking up his entire line and by extension the rest of the team. It’s his fault they lost.

Normally, Patrice would be wallowing on the couch in a pile of blankets, but his air conditioner broke last night and it’s too warm in his apartment to do that, so instead he’s wedged into the cushions eating ice cream. It’s not helping. He doesn’t usually eat ice cream sitting on the couch, because it reminds him of being with Brad right after the ’16 Winter Classic. He’s long since stopped referring to that in his head as _sleeping together,_ _fucking,_ or even plain old _sex._ Patrice is pretty sure it wasn’t any of those things - it was more like lovemaking. He just didn’t know it back then.

Wilson starts yipping at the door suddenly, but Patrice doesn’t think anything of it - it just means there’s another tenant on the stairs. Then someone’s knocking and Wilson barks even louder, so Patrice sighs, puts down his ice cream, and gets up to see who’s there. He looks through the peephole… and there’s Brad.

“Bergy?” he yells through the door. “I gotta talk to you, can you let me in?”

Patrice sighs a second time and undoes the locks. He steps aside, not making eye contact or saying anything as he allows Brad into the apartment. He does notice that his best friend is carrying ice cream, which is good because he’s almost out by now.

The ice cream is stowed in the freezer and they sit in the living room awkwardly. “So what’s up?” Patrice finally asks.

“I’m sorry for freaking you out a few days ago,” is what Brad decides to start with. “I. Uh. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, Brad.”

“Also it turns out I was like, misinterpreting a bunch of shit. So. Derek was kind of. He wasn’t really as sure about our relationship lately anyway, and then with me licking other hockey players… we broke up yesterday. I don’t blame him, I wouldn’t put up with my shit. I don’t know how he did it for so long.”

“I’m sorry he broke up with you, Marchy. Are you doing okay?”

“I guess. It’s not great, but… there’s been worse things. I figured we can hang out and be sad together at least.”

Patrice can’t help smiling. “Yeah, I can definitely go for that right now.”

And just like that they’re okay again, their friendship is instantly back to normal. Brad goes into the kitchen to find a spoon and immediately sits back down right next to Patrice so they can pass the ice cream back and forth while they stare at the muted tv.

“So,” Brad starts again, then stops.

“So… what?” Patrice wonders, glancing at him.

“Uh, there’s something you should probably know.”

“Okay, then tell me.”

“Remember like… when I first told you about Derek, and I said I was over you?”

“Yeah…”

“I might’ve been lying when I said that.” Patrice stares at him, drawing an embarrassed snicker. “It was like, wishful thinking and shit. Because I was sick of it hurting all the time, so I was trying to prove to myself that I could make it go away if I just tried harder. Which like, that’s really stupid, because doing that exact same thing never made me straight, either.”

“Okay. That… makes sense.”

“So… I’m sorry that I kinda put you through the same shit I went through. I never really got over it. And I think Derek figured that out, too, so it’s probably another reason he broke up with me.”

Patrice isn’t really sure what to say to this. Instead of fighting with his own idiot words, he just leans into Brad’s side so that their heads and shoulders are resting together. He’s unreasonably scared for some reason that if he talks now, it’ll turn out to not be real, because he almost doesn’t believe what he heard.

Brad, apparently, is fine with this arrangement; he slumps over sideways as well, folding them together a little more and sighing quietly before eating the last bite of ice cream. “We’ll have to open the other tub.”

“Yeah,” Patrice agrees, not actually caring about that right now. “So should we talk about… this?”

“Probably. It doesn’t have to be right now, though. I don’t really know what else to say.”

Patrice thinks for a second, debating if he wants to actually let out the words crossing his mind. In the end he goes for it.

“You can say you love me. It’s okay for you to do that now.”

Brad laughs. “Yeah, okay. I love you, Pat.”

He smiles. “I love you, Bradley.”

“And now what?”

“Now we kiss. I really liked kissing you back then, that was actually my favorite part.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, I can do that,” Brad agrees.

Patrice rearranges them both slightly so that they can kiss like he said. It’s even better than he remembers, because it finally feels like he did something right.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this isn't my favorite series... it's kind of lazily written imo and isn't up to my usual standard of quality, but hopefully some of you enjoyed it anyway.
> 
> Please comment.


End file.
